Lately my granddaughter is loving a book called Giraffes Can’t Dance. Have you read it? It’s about a jungle dance party. All the animals are doing crazy animal dances and having a wonderful time. Gerald the giraffe wants to join in but he is all legs and neck and looks different. The animals laugh at him and Gerald’s confidence plummets and he runs away. Then there is a moment. He stops and has a chat with a cricket (pause), he thinks (ponder), and he changes direction (pivots). Then, he dances with renewed confidence and has a marvellous time (proceeds).
We all feel like a giraffe sometimes. Confidence is the third C in my 4C framework for high performing teams. We’ve already considered “confidence” through the lens of imposter syndrome. This time, I wanted to go deeper on what it takes to muster confidence when we are feeling low. I called in an expert—my friend Kathy Archer. Kathy is a confidence coach and has published a book about confidence, so she had many insights to share. Here is what I learned from our conversation.
Power of the pose!
Kathy and I are both big fans of the power pose. I used to do it in secret before speaking at conferences. Now I do it out in the open, while folks are coming into the session. I also use it with clients. So does Kathy. The reason it works so well is that a power pose changes your body chemistry. If you hold it for a full two minutes, hormones are released that help you to feel more confident. So, when you’re feeling small and shy, change the way you’re standing. Roll your shoulders back and hold your head high!
Confidence & competence
Lack of confidence can often be traced back to lack of competence. Perhaps you are new in your role and have a steep learning curve ahead of you. That’s ok. It’s all part of how we grow. Think about the skills and knowledge that you might be missing and come up with a plan to increase your competence in that area. This includes practicing. You must practice your new skills to get competent. Call on your courage and compassion and then dive in. This is how you will stretch, grow and develop more confidence.
I love infinity loops—especially in the context of human evolution and the work it takes to grow and care for our mental, physical and social wellbeing. The work never stops. Infinity loops are a cool way to remind us that this work is a constant practice. Kathy uses an infinity loop model that is super helpful for working on confidence.
The four P’s!
Just like our dancing giraffe, when we feel like our confidence is faltering, we need to:
Pause: Take a breath, find a quiet place, seek guidance from a coach, mentor or friend to talk things through.
Ponder: Review the facts versus your emotions. Notice what’s happening in your body. Are you shrinking, feeling anxious? Try the power pose or go outside to change your body chemistry.
Pivot: Explore different perspectives. Look at the problem from a variety of angles.
Proceed: With courage, self-compassion and a new perspective; take action.
When you complete this cycle, you’re ready to get back out there and engage with renewed confidence. How cool is that?
In summary
I recently experienced a significant professional setback and have had a disappointing week. Kathy’s 4P Model has been extremely useful to me. It really works. So, I’m grateful for the opportunity to write this article and learn from Kathy. The timing couldn’t be better, and I hope it’s been helpful for you too. We’re all a work in progress. Let’s keep taking care of each other. The world needs us to be well.
Kimberley Mackenzie, CPCC, ACC is a leadership coach for high performing charity executives who need space to think, get clarity, set goals and take action. She is a former charity executive, consultant, CFRE and editor for Charity eNews. Kimberley is AFP Master Trainer and expert team facilitator. You can reach Kimberley at k@kimberleymackenzie.ca or follow her on Instagram @kimberleycanada.
